Sex in the City

Today is the first day the movie Sex in the City is showing in the theaters. My girlfriends who I haven't seen for such a long time after my mothers death are getting together to see the movie. Anyways, I was excited to go I told my husband a week early about it because he usually wants me to plan ahead and tell him. So, everything I did was right to go hang out actually just watch a movie with my friends. It happens that his parents are going to be out of town and he doesn't/or "can't" watch them by himself because he'll be itching. Itching coz he can't control his eczema. Anyways, if he really wanted me to go he'll just try his best to take care of the kids. I wanted to make sure it's ok with him for me to go out. But, he gave me all the crap and I felt guilty going to see my friends and the movie. He said I better hurry my ass up. I said why? He said well, " I can't feed him" the baby. Actually our son is already a year and a half. He's still breastfeeding but he only does it to stay calm or want to go to sleep. I think he can handle him but he doesn't even wanna try. So, I'm not interested in going out anymore. I just lost my motivation to go out and be with my peers. I've been home forever and finally I want to do something for myself for my own good. I'm now depressed again. I just want to have a little time for myself. Now, I'm just recalling everything he said to me. All the hurtful things. One time when he was mad at me because well, I admit I'm sometimes I'm absent minded.  I told him I am because of him! He puts me down and treats me like a soldier. When he wants something done it has to be done right away. For example, everytime when we're going someplace, when he says "let's go" we the kids and I has to be ready or else he'll be screaming on top of his lungs. He treats us like soldiers "Hurry, hurry, hurry up! lets go". I can't focus straight or think right because his always on my ass. He puts my self esteem down and one time I told him he's putting me really low to the floor. He said "yeah, u should stay there". When I heard that I can't even look at him anymore. What the hell is making me stay? this is stupid.. I never thought I would be in this position. I never think that I would be in this type of mess. I'm not this person. I've never been treated like this in my life. Even when I was younger, no one ever treated me so low before. I don't wanna be with him and I really think he doesn't even care. If we didn't have kids, I'm so out of the door!  I know in the next following days. Everything would be just be ok, not fine. This sucks coz I don't deserve this treatment. No one does!